My frustration towards a lukewarm Virtual Console absolutely pales in comparison to how angry I was with the first year of the Nintendo 3DS at retail. I’m making a point here to avoid talking about the price drop, the Ambassador debacle, and the launch line-up. Nintendogs, Pilotwings, and Steel Diver no doubt have their niche. What I was far more upset with was everyone from Nintendo to Ubisoft to Konami insisting on releasing a bunch of glorified ports. Outside of the launch window, there wasn’t an original experience to be had at retail on 3DS until November 2011, unless you count shades of mediocrity like Pac Man & Galaga Dimensions.

   

I played every single one of these “3D remakes”, even Cave Story 3D, which had some of the best 3D visuals on the system that still stand strong against its contemporaries. They were all fun, but I’ve played all of them before, and in some cases, there are superior versions of the games found on other systems. Nintendo missed a myriad of opportunities with some of these games, like not giving Starfox 64 3D online multiplayer, but still asking $40 for it. On a related note, though: I hadn’t played the original “Devil Survivor” when it came out on the DS in 2009. Devil Survivor Overclocked remains my number one most played title on 3DS, because I was absolutely desperate for an RPG at the time. The only other RPG that’s been localized is Tales of the Abyss–another game we’ve played before.

Original games like Kid Icarus: Uprising and Paper Mario: Sticker Star have finally come this year, despite being on the radar since 2009 / 2010. It’s gotten to the point where Nintendo has almost nothing new to show at 3DS-related presentations. Everyone who owns a 3DS is expected to stretch these “evergreen” titles across larger spats of time.

And for the most part, I did. I bought and beat both Kid Icarus and Super Mario 3D Land when they first came out—but they’re no longer in my possession. Every single retail game I’ve played on the 3DS, while “great”, were ultimately not worth keeping. 3D Land suffered from being entirely too easy (and yes, I played through all the ‘Special’ Worlds. Even the bonus level at the end was nothing compared to “The Perfect Run” from Super Mario Galaxy 2), and Kid Icarus suffered from control issues and gameplay that got a little too repetitive by the end. I bought the Circle Pad Pro for Kid Icarus, too—but I’m going to leave the “second stick” out of this discussion, because attacking it is too easy.

I died three times in Super Mario 3D Land. And I died over 2,000 times as I played Galaxy 2. Clearly there’s a difficulty gap.

Mario Kart 7 is a great example of Nintendo’s online at its best—but that one’s left me too. As a matter of fact, the only two 3DS games that I’ve felt are worth keeping are Ocarina of Time and the recent Theatrhythm Final Fantasy. It’s been over a year since I stood in line, excited to see Nintendo’s next big handheld, but.. very few games offered at retail have legitimately impressed me.

“But the third-party games coming from developers are looking very nice. Stuff like Rhythm Thief, Kingdom Hearts 3D, Epic Mickey: Power of Illusion, and Castlevania: Mirror of Fate really look interesting.  Plus, while the projected prices leave much to be desired, the fact that Nintendo is going to put retail games on the eShop the same day they’re released, effective August 19th, is definitely a positive step.”

     

I love my 3DS for everything does: it has solid online play, a ton of original digital content, the Streetpass games I’ve spent hours with, Swapnote, and other goodies. But, even with all that, I still don’t feel justified paying $249.99 for this thing. I’ve no doubt earned my purchase from spending countless hours across numerous titles with the system, but still…

I just want to be “wow”ed.

A lot of what Kyle and I wrote independently of each other at first wound up being the same exact thoughts. So clearly, I’m not the only one. How do you feel about the 3DS? Are you happy? Do you want more? Do you want the handful of fantastic games that still, as of yet, remain Japan-exclusive? I know I do.

   

“We rage because we love. It’s like when your beloved uncle goes nuts and thinks it’s a good idea to sleep in the dishwasher. You’ll always love him, but you just gotta smack some sense into him every now and then. And then you gotta complain to him about why he never gives you Earthbound, despite the fact that you love Earthbound so much that you got a water bottle and a T-Shirt related to Earthbound and you will pay him just to have Earthbound again and he’s just afraid to give it to you because ARGLEFARGLEBARGLEEFHUIOEWASHIOSRNQWAS–“

Jonathan Higgins
[Former Staff] Jonathan parted ways with Operation Rainfall on June 15th, 2014. You can follow him on Twitter @radicaldefect.
http://www.twitter.com/radicaldefect